One of my friends was out the other night when a stranger blew bad ju-ju her way. He asked her, “Can you believe they’re having Madonna perform at the Super Bowl half time show this year? What is she like 50 now? Why can’t they get someone younger?”
My friend replied, “She’s one of the world’s most adored performers.”
Bad ju-ju man, “I know, but she’s 50. Why can’t they get Katy Perry?”
My friend went on, “Mick Jagger is still performing and he’s in his 60’s.”
Bad ju-ju man realizes he’s not talking to a girl, he’s talking to a woman. He shuts-up and checks his Blackberry.
In regards to the Super Bowl the only thing I’m excited about are the same 3 same things I’m excited about every year: The chips, the guacamole and the margaritas. However, I will pull my chip out of its dip if I hear anyone trash talk Madonna or any other woman for that matter for her age. If you feel the same way I have compiled the following,
Irvina’s 3 hand-dandy, sassy, yet still classy responses to someone who is trash talking Madonna on Superbowl Sunday!
#1. “So I guess this means when you turn 50 we can automatically consider you unemployable also.”
Say it with a bright eyed, toothy grin it causes for even more of a dramatic effect.
#2. “Actually, Madonna isn’t 50, the old lady is 53! I guess it takes some time to accomplish:
- Being awarded 20 VMAs from a total of 68 nominations, more than any other artist ever
- Being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, as one of the best-known and most influential artists, producer of all time
- Three American Music Awards for Best Female Musician
- A Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame
- Winner of a Golden Globe for Best Actress
- The best-selling female rock artist of the 20th century
- The 2nd top-selling female artist of all time in the United States
- Publishing 64 million albums
- Selling more than 300 million records world wide
Oh, but enough about her. What have YOU accomplished?”
#3.) And if you don’t have the energy for either of those you can just say,
“Papa don’t preach! Your being a creep! I’ve made up mind and Madonna’s my baby!”
L.O.L.